Jake Zerillo

Today in class we first talked about making a draft and revision is very important. You have to revise based on the evidence and the thesis statement. Also how you want to be as specific and clear as possible when you revise. And using things like, who, what, when, where, why which will make it more specific and clear. Then we talked about how every topic sentence should have something to do with your thesis but in detail and more specific. You need to make sure that each topic sentence helps to prove your argument. And how the body paragraphs should be in the order that makes more sense. Then you want to revise your thesis, make sure you include all the important points. We talked about when you make a claim use the evidence from you articles and documentary. And how a claim isn't something that is just a piece of evidence or a fact, it is something that actually needs evidence. It also needs to be worded so that it creates a way for you to go on with it in the body paragraph and use your evidence from the documentary and articles. Last we talked about how if your thesis is very specific the better you will be because it will then give you more topic sentences to work with. And you want to revise just to make sure that everything works with your topic sentence. This picture makes you think that whatever you do make sure you revise it. Therefore your work is the best of your ability and there are no silly mistakes.